Two years ago, I faced a dilemma. I and my husband had bought a new house and were still dealing with the stresses of the pandemic. My mental health was already rocky. On top of that, there was a possibility I could lose my job due to the craziness going on in the world. This is not something you want to think about after you just took out a thirty-year loan.
I knew God wanted us to have this house, there were too many signs confirming this, but I wondered if we would be able to afford it if I lost this job.
Fear and anxiety smashed through my unstable emotions and forced me into a downward spiral. My husband deals with health issues and our insurance comes from my job. Could I get similar health insurance somewhere else that would cover his pricey medications? I prayed every day asking God to keep these fears from becoming a reality.
The morning after we officially moved into our new house, I woke up late and laid in bed for a while, praying. I closed my eyes and asked,
“Father, I know I need to take you at your word that you will protect me and look after me. I know the verses that tell me this. It may be too much to ask, but could you give me a physical sign? You’ve done it in the Bible before with clouds, fire, and water. Could you do something like you did with Gideon and his sponge? If not, I understand. My dad always tells me it doesn’t hurt to ask, even if it sounds silly.”
I opened my eyes and flipped the blankets off my feet. Until the bedroom construction could be completed we placed our bed by the front door. With a deep breath, I sat up and eyed the wall in front of me. Like polka dots, little rainbows sprinkled the freshly painted wall.
In addition, I found tiny rainbows splattered across the bed where I had been sleeping, I had been snoozing in God’s promise and didn’t even realize it.
I spun around to search for the source of this phenomenon. I followed the trail and discovered that light had spilled through a decorative glass portal on my new front door creating a prism. I laughed and muttered, “Thank you.”
It was a little sign, but it was enough to keep me going through that stressful time. I ended up not losing my job or health insurance and was able to keep our beautiful new house.
Fast forward two years. I’m sitting in church praying for God to improve my husband’s health, help us start a family, and one day let me publish my novel. All these things weighed heavily on my mind.
My husband’s health continued to worsen over the last two years thus making my dreams of becoming a mother hard to hold on to. I had a publishing opportunity come up, but it fell through and left me discouraged. I prayed hard asking God to heal all these things. I wondered why after two years of praying for the same things nothing seemed to change. I opened my eyes and plastered on a fake smile. I didn’t want my church family to see the struggles I dealt with. I headed home trying to allow God’s peace to govern my heart instead of anger or fear.
I headed up to my office to catch up on my writing, wondering if anyone besides my parents or critique partners would ever read my novel’s pages. I sat down on my office chair and leaned back.
Rainbows scattered my keyboard like snowflakes. I slowly sat up and noticed the crown I kept on my desk. I kept it there to remind me I’m God’s daughter whenever I wrote. It now glittered with brilliant colors. Light from the window beside me flashed onto the sparkling crown causing it to glow in numerous colors. Those sparks of colors shot off onto my computer keyboard, right where needed to place my hands to type.
Despite my fears, God had heard my prayers for the last two years. He knew I wanted my husband to get better, he knew I wanted a family, and he knew I wanted someone to pick up my book in a bookstore. He sent these little rainbows to remind me, saying, “Child, I hear you, just keep waiting.”
Thousands of years ago God put a bow in the sky. Not like a bow tie or a hair band, an actual bow, the kind you shoot targets with. He fashioned this bow from all the dazzling colors he created for earth. He did this as a sign to his people, and the generations that followed, that he would not flood the whole earth with water ever again. Despite the current culture twisting its meaning, the rainbow still shows us God’s faithfulness to keep his word.
To me, the rainbow now is not only a reminder of God’s promise to not flood the earth, but it’s also a reminder that he hears me. He listens to my pleas for help even when I can’t seem to see his plan unfolding before my eyes.
The rainbow tells me, “I promise you good things, you just have to be patient.”
A few days after if finished writing this blog a rainstorm ripped through my town. After the winds and the rain died down a rainbow appeared in the sky. Right over my house. The house God promised to me to grow my family in, to write my novel in, and grow old with my husband.
To most this won’t seem like much. But to me, it’s the wink from God I need to keep on doing his work.