My petite silver car drove through the darkness of the early morning while I was behind the wheel, screaming at God. I was tired of praying for the same thing over and over again. I bellowed at God, “You told me to ask and believe. Why won’t you answer me?”
Have you been there? Do your prayers keep wafting up to heaven hour after hour with no response? Whether it is an enormous prayer… or a colossal prayer, going months without a response makes you wonder if someone is playing a trick on you.
You open the bible and read Mathew 7:7
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.”
And all you can think is, how many times will you have to ask before he hears you?
For a little back story on this little car drive tantrum, I am a laid-back girl who rarely gets angry. I’ve even had people say it’s impossible for them to picture me angry. So, me driving down the highway shrieking into the night isn’t exactly the norm for me.
This was the result of a five-month-long prayer journey that I was tired of traveling.
You see, I had met this great guy. We were good friends and then we became best friends. And, as you can imagine, we wondered if we could become something more. There was one problem standing in our way.
*Clears throat*
He was kind of my boss.
Yeah, I don’t know how my life became a rom-com when I’m a fantasy writer, but there you go.
Of course, we couldn’t date unless we wanted to forfeit our jobs, and with his preexisting medical conditions, he needed to have a job with great insurance, so quitting our jobs and existing off love wasn’t really an option. We both wanted to pursue each other, but would not risk breaking the rules.
We prayed and decided one of us had to get a new job. Well, at this time, jobs with good benefits weren’t really easy to come by. Five months of working together but not pursuing each other outside of work was difficult, intensely difficult, because we knew we wanted to be together and couldn’t be ( ugh, this is sounding more and more like a cheesy romance). We were pretty sure we had found our spouse in one another, but we needed to date/court to find that out for sure, and to do that we can’t be co-workers.
Now, back to my car fit. Yup, not super pretty, but I cried out to God, wondering why in the world he was taking so long. That’s where the title of this little blog comes in.
A few years ago, there was a trend of painting rocks and hiding them for people to find. As I was taking out the trash one day after this car outburst, I found this beautiful blue and gold rock with the words “Enjoy the Journey” painted on the face. I stopped in my tracks.
I was so worried about moving on to the next big thing in my life that I wasn’t enjoying this moment. I wasn’t enjoying our friendship like I should have. The sweet little inside jokes we had together, and this beautiful season of change in my life.
Now, fast forward years later, I am married to this amazing man, and we have enjoyed more than five years of marriage together. I still have this little blue rock on my desk. Because at my core, I’m an impatient person. I want to move on to the exciting bits, the favorable moments in life, and I forget to smell the roses.
I’m not present or noticing the little moments that make up life. When I’m busy typing away to beat deadlines and rushing around to make content for my socials or even working on other, frankly, more important things like cleaning and working, I’m not enjoying the gift of life right now.
Every time I look at this little rock, I take a breath.
I need to enjoy the journey I am on right now. It’s a beautiful time in life, and it’s the only time all of these things will be here together in this instant. For now, I’m going to sit and enjoy them, and I encourage you to do the same.
